So we’re all cable-internetted up and land-phoneline down. We’ll see how it goes now that we don’t have a home phone and everyone seems to ask for you home phone for everything nowadays. But hey, I’d rather have the cell phone and high speed, because man, it’s kick ass.

Funny think about the whole process: The guy came and installed the modem Sunday morning and everything went off without a hitch, which is amazing because how often does that happen? I get on there and zip zam bow we’re cooking with gas, but I’ve got to go to work, so I pick up my cell phone off the desk to put it on my belt and slip slidin’ away, it falls out of my grasp.

Right into my coffee.

I pick it up lickety kickety splitity and wipe it off frantically and call Kenzie’s phone and thank god it works. For about two hours before it starts beeping creeping weeping and turns off and won’t turn back on. I mean, c’mon, what kind of luck is that? I get a cell phone, we decided to get high speed interwebs because if we get rid of the land line and dial up it’ll be cheaper, and fifteen minutes after we get the high speed the cell phone we started with breaks! I mean, that’s just evil!

Anticlimactically, Kenzie got the phone to work when I got home. So yes, cell phones up, land lines down, move your hands from side to side like you just don’t care. Now it’s an orgy of internet downloading and watching like two people who haven’t had anything but dial-up for at least a year. I’ve already downloaded several awful songs that Kenzie will hate (and some she loves), watched movie trailers and even the pilot for the animated Amazing Screw-On Head cartoon that Hellboy creator Mike Mignola got with SciFi. I think it’s being aired at various late night times, but hopefully it’ll get picked up for a series soon. If you have the high-speed, I suggest checking it out here, as it is hilarious and stars the voices of Paul Giamatti, David Hyde Pierce, Molly Shannon and Patton Oswalt. I also visited the site for the animated Hellboy show, which is coming to Cartoon Network…at some point. Great site, no information on the airdates, which is a little stupid.

What isn’t stupid is Snakes on a Plane. It is, unarguably, the greatest cinematic achievement of all time, now and for forever. Kenzie, Tony and I went to go see it and we all enjoyed it (perhaps my fellow audience members enjoyed it less due to my intense carrying on and shouting, but this was a shouty obnoxious loudy movie. When Sam Jackson starts “That’s it! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes…” it’s the audiences duty to finish “…on this motherfucking plane!” Loudly.). Never before have snake attacks been more enjoyable hysterical improbable.

And yes, did I download the song they did for Snakes on a Plane? I sure did, and I encourage you to not only see the movie but stay during the credits for the incredibly awful enjoyable laughable song and music video, featuring the band Cobra Starship. Yes, the band that sings the SoaP song is called Cobra Starship. They have no illusions.

Any other suggestions for fun net destinations downloads timewasters are more than welcome.

Of course, with my 30th birthday coming up, I updated my Amazon wishlist, but like Cobra Starship (I love that name!), I have no illusions.