Sometimes it’s fun to be lippy and mean to those who take themselves too seriously. I know it’s bad karma, but still, how often do you get to use the phrase “cock-monkey?” Not enough, I’m sure.

Some days, when I work at Dark Star, I think I should bring in a rifle loaded with Ritalin-darts, because there are some kids that need what I like to call “Extreme Time-Outs.” There was a one child in there this weekend, maybe 8 or 9, maybe 10 (I’m bad at guessing ages past how old my daughter is) who, every time he was told the price for something would throw his arms up in the air and go “Arrrrrrgggghhhh!” A combination of Charlie Brown and Captain Kirk (”LUCYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!), I think. And of course, he did that typical kid behavior of picking something up to show their parent, holding it up and going “Mom, mom, mom mom mom mommommommommommom.”

I’m sure I was never like that.

Ever.

I finished reading Dark Tower 5 and man…man o man. I love shit like this. Grand, epic, sweeping, crossing over into all kinds of his other stuff. In this volume he has titles in his bibliography in bold that cross-over with the ‘Tower series, and it’s quite a bit. Like The Stand, Salemís Lot, Black House, Hearts in Atlantis, to name but a few. The coolest thing about the ‘Tower is that it’s more adventure fiction, with a western/sci-fi/fantasy twist. Genre blending like this always gives me a kick. Not to mention parallel worlds and stuff like that. Dork central, fo shizzle…

Speaking of, I heard a kick-ass alt-rock song today about *gaming* of all things. I about crapped my pants with laughter (but that’s not as funny as it sounds). It’s called “Ready to Roll” by Flashlight Brown. See the titular line of this post for a sample.

The other night I went to the Art Theater in town and saw “Anything Else,” the new Woody Allen movie. It’s good, if not hampered by the fact that Jason Biggs can’t really act, just do a lame Woody Allen impression. Clearly, if this movie had been made twenty years ago, Woody Allen would have been playing the part, as opposed to the older, “wiser” friend he plays now. Christina Ricci, however, is great, as is Danny DeVitio. It’s probably out of theaters in the civilized world, but check it out when it’s on video or something.

I was pleasantly surprised when I turned over to wrestling during the football game (Jets over Tennessee? Wow…) tonight to see that Mick Foley was back, in a “management” (non-wrestling) position. He’s fun. Maybe he’s the kick in the pants Raw needs. Smackdown…who knows. I didn’t watch last week because the ‘rents were in town, and I’m theoretically a good host. It’s still lacking something though, but I don’t know what. I think it just seemed more reckless a couple of years ago, a little less predictable. Written better, I guess you could say.

I cut back on my comic pull file. When I realize I’m buying out of knee-jerk habit (Batman, New X-Men, to name a few), I have to abort. I can’t afford to be that kind of fan. “I’m going to keep reading Batman because I have to have an unbroken collection, and eventually, the stories will get better.” Yeah, sure. At least with this job I have the luxury of reading before buying, so there’s a lot of stuff I read off the rack now that I just shake my head an laugh at (Uncanny X-Men, JLA, to name some more).

Well, now I just have to wait for basketball season to get into full swing. It only really gets interesting after the All-Star break. The Nets survived last season without Mourning, they should do okay this on *fingers crossed* Football, clearly, is a loss for me. Thanks a lot, Giants. Nice knowing you, Fassell.

Maybe I’ll poke some new stuff up in here. We need some action…

Half-orc, full dork, I remain…