First things first, let’s get the quiz results out of the way. It’s mostly accurate, so I figured I’d post it.
eXpressive: 8/10
Practical: 3/10
Physical: 10/10
Giver: 6/10
You are a XSYG–Expressive Sentimental Physical Giver. This makes you a Sex Bomb.
You are sexy sex sex sex! The sexness! You are the sexiest, hottest and most charismatic of all types. You are a captivating speaker and a great dinner date — relaxed, self-effacing, charming and generous. Your type probably has origins in something sad — trying to keep the peace in a tough family situation, or an early heartbreak — and you’ll probably want to address and resolve that at some point, but in your relationships that heartache is pure gold!
You lie effortlessly — not necessarily a bad thing. You can have problems with fidelity. You need frequent praise and validation, and in seeking it you can make decisions that aren’t consistent with your general good judgment. In other words, don’t cheat on your significant other just because someone is paying attention to you.
You strongly dislike conflict, and will avoid it. Like an XPYG, you give so much of yourself to your partner that you feel dismissed and unappreciated if you don’t get the same in return. But you internalize your feelings more and have a hard time getting over them. You don’t *want* to cheat — you just keep finding yourself in vulnerable situations. But you’ll stay with your partner in the long run from guilt and a desire to please.
Your sex life will always be hot. You are one of the rare people who can keep the fires of passion going forever — if you find a good match. Find another XSYG and you will never need (or want) anyone else again.
Of the 34827 people who have taken this quiz, 9 % are this type.
So here are some things that irritate me:
That stupid fucking McDonalds “Chicken Selects” commercials. Y’know the ones, where the people are all psychotically defensive about their chicken and start talking to imaginary people who they think are trying to take their chicken. Yes, this is the best way to sell food, by suggesting that it makes people into paranoid schizophrenics. Fucking idiocy. Like you even have to try to sell chicken. It’s chicken, everything tastes like it, and apparently Americans eat a million chickens a day. But no, let’s pretend like this special chicken makes you delusional and overly defensive. In fact, it’s best to make a pre-emptive strike on your neighbor, just in case he’s plotting to take your chicken. Sneak into his home, beat him over the head with a rock until he stops moving. Then, to take his power, roast him over a fire and turn him into “Neighbor Selects.” Be sure none of the other neighbors smell them, or you may have to add them to the menu…
I also hate those Argent mortgage ads, where they are proud of themselves for sponsoring athletes. In their tag line, they say something to the effect of “People say athletes shouldn’t be role models…we say it depends on the athletes.” The sports they show? Swimming, NASCAR, and golf. The athletes they show? Think winter. Think vanilla ice cream. That’s right, white people (because we’re cold and tasty). But yeah, why not just say “Argent mortage, we don’t mess around with black people. They’re scary. Especially the athletes, because when you give those people money, they get rowdy.”
So yeah, irritants. Televised irritants.
I did manage to get some work done on a story I had started a while ago, “A Taste of Precious.” A title chosen innocently enough at the time, but now has taken on more sinister tones. It’s coming along though, and hopefully it’ll be presentable soon.
The more I think about the future I know how crazy and uncontrollable it is. I just have to throw my hands and give it all up. Give up that I know how things are going to turn out, or that I can predict it. I can just do. Do do do. Do be do be do. You know how the song goes.
So my birthday keeps on coming up. Presents, presents, presents. And, of course, if folks haven’t sent me their contact info, please, please do. It’s all part of my master plan. Ooooh, master plan. Spooky, spooky.
So yeah, do that and that.
Servant of the master plan, I remain…
2 responses so far ↓
1 Jennifer // Sep 5, 2004 at 7:59 pm
just to add a little tidbit about those chicken select strips from mcdonalds….i too hate the commercial, even more so now, because i tried them and they are NASTY!!!!! if anyone was to come near my chicken select strips, i’d gladly give them to them! HERE, TAKE THEM! yuck!
k, just thought i’d add that.
2 Demonweasel // Sep 6, 2004 at 9:56 am
Jennifer,
To hear that they are even bad is just even more irritating. I mean, how do you fuck up chicken? *I* can make chicken.
Fuckin’ fast food…
hungry,
-TEC
Leave a Comment