The Demonweasel Speaks

…said by me as the reason why I wanted to hang the new air freshener in Kenzie’s new car as we were driving to see her dad, as opposed to her trying to hang it and drive at the same time. I’m a bad passenger sometimes, but damn, am I good at it.

I sent out a query letter to an agency for representation for “Shadow of the Past.” It goes something like this:

Dear Mr. *****,

I am seeking representation for my 98,000 word completed novel “Shadow of the Past.� Per the instructions on your website, I have posted the first five pages below this letter, which include the prologue and some of the first chapter.

Mark Watson is many things, none of them good – poor, orphaned, unpopular, 16 and terrified. A killer from 1953 has begun stalking his dreams, showing him visions of kidnappings and murder. In his waking life, that killer is taking shadowy, flame-eyed shape, stalking everyone Mark cares about and getting stronger with every life he takes.

He is falling in love for the first time, his bullying nemesis at school is out for blood, and his best friend is eyeing his new girlfriend. There’s no peace wherever he turns, and that looks to be exactly where the killer wants him: broken, alone, and facing his end in the house that saw the deaths of four children all those years ago and still holds a terrible evil.

Even though “Shadow of the Pastâ€? has teenage protagonists, this is definitely a mature work. Many of the themes – insecurity about your place in life, a lack of control over your own destiny, and personal betrayal – are universal, and I’m sure the book would resonate with older teens and twenty-somethings.

I am an unpublished writer who has worked in a bookstore for the past ten years, and have been a fan of horror fiction since I was a teenager myself (when the seeds of this novel were planted). I am also working on some short stories and another novel which is a horror/private eye tale that I would like to see grow into a series.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Thacher E. Cleveland
—-

This is different from my original draft, which went something like this:

Dear Mr. ******

I wrote a book and it’s awesome! You should totally rep it out and we can make super-mad cash! I’m like 10,000 billion times better than the shit I see coming through my store all the time! I mean, seriously! World domination, baby, who’s got the hook up? For real though, I could really use the money.

Holler back at your boy.

Sincerely,

Thacher E. Cleveland
—–

Kenzie really helped make it a better letter.

On the way back from getting her new car (a ’99 Chevy Lumina, “The Superluminal.”) we spent the time talking wedding stuff, came up with an idea of where to do it and came up with a very preliminary guest list. “Hey, it’ll probably be like, 75 people, right?”

132.

Oy, Christ, we’re thinking of making it pot-luck. ;) And for some reason, Kenzie doesn’t want to walk down the aisle to “Back in Black” or “Don’t stop believing.” I mean, Journey is awesome, what gives? She insists that she has no sense of humor about the wedding. I beg to differ, I’m sure I can find one in there somewhere.

I’m trying to figure out what my next writing feat will be, as I’ve decided that I’m done with SOTP except for proofreading. Maybe I’ll get fucking silly and post it here or something.

I’m currently working on ways to guerilla market Dark Star out the ass, and I’m also sort of sitting back and seeing what I learn from that so I can do the same for the writing career. It’s funny because I’m torn in my love for the ‘Star and my love for writing, I want to be able to do both equally: expand the store into a chain of stores across the area, and write the shit out of everything like Stephen King, Elmore Leonard, Peter David, Greg Rucka, etc. I lean towards David and Rucka, as they have thriving careers in comics and novels, and I sure as shit haven’t given up on comics. Just don’t have anyone who can fucking draw them! What’s up with that?

Have you ever gone in the bathroom, gotten mad that someone had forgotten to flush and then realized that it was you?

Oy shit, do I have a lot to do today.

1. Consume unholy amounts of coffee.
2. Browse & update my MySpace page.
3. Write blog entry.
4. Play some GTA: San Andreas before Allie gets here (apparently, it’s inappropriate for 9 year olds)
5. Go to town, pick up stuff for Kenzie. Also stop by store and terrorize employees.
6. List stuff on eBay.
7. Clean Living Room.
8. Clean out the supplementary food sources under our couch cushions
9. Make Dinner
10. K & I rearrange living room.
11. Go to Peaches and party with friends of hers.
12. Go to bed and get up early because tomorrow is new comic day. And as Fark put it “Wednesday, Batwoman comes out. No, really, Batwoman comes out.”

Put together, Kenzie & I have 122 hours & 42 minutes worth of music.

Suck on that, RIAA!!!