The Demonweasel Speaks

So here I am, in Upstate New York, NNY as it’s called on some signs up here. After spending Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday moving all night, spending Wednesday night in my new place, getting up Thursday doing some cleaning of the old place and arranging in the new and then rushing to the airport to end the night up here.

So it’s over, in a sense. All of the rush and worry and all that which has been going on since almost mid-April, from getting the new place to now, moved in and in the midst of the vacation that I’ve been waiting for/worried about (because of the whole “I have to move in the middle of this time” hiccup). It’s been really nice though, seeing my folks and all of my sisters and nieces and newphews, some of which I’m seeing for only the second time, ever. EVER. Which is weird when you had such a close knit family like we did. We still do, it’s just that now I have a life that’s in the Buckeye state, so it keeps me away from all of these things. As fun and relaxing as it is, I wish Kenzie was here to meet everyone and Allie was here to see her family and have fun with her cousins that see sees so irregularly. Hopefully the three of us will be up here again later this summer.

Friday was errands day, crawling under the house to fix something with my Dad, running errands and meeting people. Saturday was family day, where not only all the kids and there kids were around, but my aunts and other peripheral family members (not that that makes them any less important). We barbecued, drank, hung out and did all kinds of things. It’s fun being with family, because you can be yourself the most. For me, it’s crazy, smart-assy, sarcastic and relaxed, alternately messing with the kids and getting to know them. At one point I found myself surounded by famly as I lumberd aroun dlike Frankenstein, three children hanging off of my limbs. Today was just chilling out day, lying on the lawn reading and tanning (an dprobably scorching my belly-button, the one place I didn’t put sun screen). I’m not sure what tomorrow will bring but hey, that’s what it’s all about. I did some poking around when it came to writing, something I haven’t really done any of since this weird crunch time in the past month and a half.

Have I mentioned how hAppy I am that time has passed? Sure, I have stuff I have to do when I get back, like transfer my phone service (I’m probably getting a new ****** and changing companies), set up my utilities, unpack and most importantly clkean my old place, but still…there is les pressure. All the major stuff is done. I can take a breath, relax, and get ready for Kenize to move up there in August and really be able to enjoy the next phase of my life.

Question that came up on the phone last night with Kenzie: Did Anakin turn to the dark side because of love or because of a love of power? Yes, I did see it, and yes, ROTS s awesome. AWE-some.

Relaxd and loving it, I remain…

Not dead yet.

Nor do I intended to be any time soon, because really, things are going swimingly. I’m busy as all beejeezus, but in a really good way. Loving my loveable girlfriend, writing reviews for Buzzscope, getting everything squared away with being able to move, packing things for the move, arranging how exactly I’m going to move things, getting more stuff on eBay so I can have more money (which I’m fond of), loving my loveable girlfriend, keeping my apartment ready for them to show it to potential renters at any second because they apparently just can’t wait until I’m moved out, loving my loveable girlfriend, trying to get through a wicked patch of insomnia, trying to figure out if I should sell my car, paying all my bills, loving my lovable girlfriend and, oh yes, being madly in love.

It’s what keeps me going, really, looking forward to the time when we’re going to be together full time. It feels like I’m just scuba diving for the next seven weeks or so, holding my breath and swimming until she gets here, and while I’m swiming moving everything around in my coral underwater fish castle so all is ready for her. This really bad metaphor has been brought to you in the spirit of me giving really bad metaphors lately (which isn’t really even lately, I’m bad at them all the time, which kind of makes me wonder why I call myself a writer, but then again there are other ways to describe things than metaphorically). I’m not going back on my “no more metaphor” policy.

I’m also feeling a little wiped from all the pressure lately, snapping at people at work, not being particularly charitable and just having a lot of those days where you wish you could just set people on fire instead of actually talking to them. I’m glad that Kenzie is around though, because a) she’s the only person I can talk to and not be snappish with and b) when I think of her I feel better. Just when I’ve got the lighter fluid out of my pocket, I think of her and I just put it away. Maybe fire *isn’t* the answer…

I think I’m just exhausted. I feel good, on the whole, and I feel like everything is going right, and that I never thought that things could be this good with anyone, at all, and the weirdest thing is that it’s not scary. It’s comforting and makes me feel like a real boy, not a wooden one. But I’ve still gone through the past few days just…tired. I don’t know if I’m stressed about all the stuff I have to do before moving and at work and all that and I’m just not processing it any other way than not being able to rest when it’s time to rest or if it’s just a kind of thing that happens to me occasionally. I can lay there, be perfectly tired and ready to sleep and it just won’t come. I hate how I make it sound like some big deal, because it’s not, really, it just replaces me with a zombie.

A busy, fast zombie, who has a review to write, things to pack and a girlfriend to love.

Imperial, I remain…