The Demonweasel Speaks

I had a title that was going to be perfect. *perfect* And I lost it.

This has been happening to me a lot lately, it seems. Forgetting names, getting an idea and then loosing it, calling people by the wrong name. And I haven’t even smoked drugs. A couple of weeks ago I was walking downtown and I saw my Lit professor from college walking ahead of me, and I wanted to call out and say Hi…but I had forgotten her name. I’ve known her for almost a decade and I forgot her name. I took three classes with her, fell asleep in one of them (ah, my academic follies) and see her on a pretty regular basis. It’s a “J” name…Joan? Her last name begins with a “G”…oh geez, who is it? I didn’t remember until a couple of hours later.

Y’know, maybe I should smoke some drugs.

Sent off another batch of presents today. Made me feel like a good person. Well, we can’t have that, can we?

In other people’s news, Chris has a girlfriend; my friend Diane, whom I had a very vivid and disturbing dream about several days ago which woke me with a feeling of total dread, wrote me an email saying she is neither dead nor maimed (I typed “mailed” there for a second…heh, mailed); Katie saw Katie Holmes at the Panera she works at today (or should I say Original Recipe Katie saw Former Dawson’s Creek Star and Toledo Alumna Katie); Laura is moving out of Toledo. Other things, I’m sure, have happened to others of you that read this. I’m sure of it, I just don’t know what those things are.

I’m eating my last Lemon Poppyseed vegan cookie of the year. Yes Jen, one of them lasted that long. I’m so loosing my touch. She gave me several vegan cookies, as she hasn’t adjusted the buying to accommodate the absence of my voracious appetite for cookies. Mmmmm god, it’s so good. And she also bought me season one of Chappelle’s Show on DVD. Because she’s awesome.

I was going to write a haiku about the snow that totally rolled up on us today, but I can’t tell if lightning has two or three syllables. Clearly, I’m all looks and no brains (which I misspelled, for those of you keeping score at home). The point is, we got about 6-inches of snow today and it’s not really letting up. They are using the “B” word (which is not the element Boron, which to this day Is till know gives away all of its electrons in chemical reactions, because in high school chemistry I drew a little Boron molecule with a mohawk going “Give it away, give it away, give it away now!”).

Is it okay to tuck in a t-shirt? I don’t often do it, but usually I do when I’m wearing a button down shirt unbuttoned over a t-shirt, and then I wear a belt or something. Well, there’s no “or something.” I wear a belt, the only one that I have, because I’m the kind of guy who now, apparently, wears a belt all the time. What has happened to me? I mean, I was never cool in the first place, but damn…but really, is it? I need to know.

I felt bad today for my friend/employee Steve, who confirmed for me that they did indeed use an idea he had been kicking around on the Venture Brother Christmas Special, which is the Germanic Legend of the Whompus, a horrid troll creature that gets to run around on Christmas and beat the asses of kids that are bad. No, no one who speaks German can be bad. It wasn’t a new idea, obviously, but when he told me about it, perhaps as long ago as last Christmas, I had never heard of it, and he wanted to do something about it. I heard an idea that Alan Moore had posited about “idea space,” a place where all the ideas that people have go and hang out until someone visits there and plucks one out of thin air, and sucks to be you if it’s one of yours.

“These ideas are just in the air, out there in the air.” “Well, if that air is coming out of this face, then it’s my idea.”

One of my teenaged employees was sorting the Presidents section at the store a couple of weeks ago, and she told her sister (who related the story to me) that that at one point she was really confused and kept going through this book over and over again, but no matter how hard she looked, she couldn’t figure out when Oswald was President.

In should just take the “Best Comics of the Week” thing off the sidebar, because I haven’t updated the sidebar in weeks, weeks being overly generous. I should do something about that.

Not going to do anything about that, I remain…