The Demonweasel Speaks

So it’s been brought to my attention that I haven’t made a post in a million-gajillion years.

So here we go…

I’ve been bored, mainly. Not in life generally, but really, I didn’t have much to say that I wanted to say on here. Stuff that I *could* say? Oh *snap!* But no, not saying.

And I’m just doing that because I want to act like a cranky Carcharodon Carcharias.

I don’t think the Giants are going to make the playoffs. I know Manning the younger is a good investment, and we’ll be lucky to have him one day…but seriously dude. Not to mention the laizzes faire attitude of the rest of the team. And there’s no laizzes faire in football. That’s too french.

I’ve barely been watching basketball, but I am excited for the Christmas Day match-up of Shaq’s Heat and Kobe’s Lakers. Flash Fact: did you know that every time they say “Kobe got a triple double for the game…but the Lakers still lost” an angel gets his wings? Flash fact.

I have been writing, including going back and spackling the hole in the book that was Chapter Six. Y’know, the part where I just left out some shit because I didn’t want to write it without doing research. See, I wrote it without research and the world didn’t end.

And if it did, I’m sorry.

Buy me things! Buy me things! Buy me things! This is a link to my Amazon wish list, because I’m crazy, and greedy, and like things, and I’m almost done with my own Christmas shopping, so there. Or you can get me a gift card for Target, because they have nice clothes and I need to look sex(ier). Or even more or, check out this shirt. Is it not the most hysterical thing ever? God Bless you, T-Shirt Hell!. And if you want to buy Allie something, books or art supplies are the way to go. She has enough dolls.

Speaking of buying, and selling, I sold a bunch of unwanted graphic novels to the ëStar and got just enough in trade to buy my copy of Spider-Man 2 and a sexy-ass Fantastic Four T-Shirt, although mien is so Navy itís practically black, but thatís cool. I love those logo/symbol t-shirts. Iím so lame, I went through and picked out all the ones I want, and ended up with 21 t-shirts. Thatís a lot of dorky.

There’s a new Chinese Restaurant in town, and they are yummy. They don’t deliver, but if you hang out there enough, you can hear the couple in the back argue in Chinese and English. And then you can order the “Happy Family” and see if they get the irony.

I went off at work the other day when someone mentioned the whole Terrell Owens/Desperate Housewives Monday Night Football fiasco. Because god forbid a black man get to see a white woman naked, and suggest that they may have had inappropriate sexual contact, at 9:00pm (in the important time zone). No sir, not in my America, not in George Bush’s America, noSIRee. I mean, we’d round up the brown skinned, the yellow skinned, the fags and the liberals and put them on trains and send them to camps, but really, that’s just tacky because it’s been done before. We need to come up with 21st century solutions to 19th century problems, like killer robots or orbital space lasers.

Speaking of decency in the new America, here’s another Flash Fact:
In an appearance before Congress in February, when the controversy over Janet Jackson’s Super Bowl moment was at its height, Federal Communications Commission chairman Michael Powell laid some startling statistics on U.S. senators.

What Powell did not reveal — apparently because he was unaware — was the source of the complaints. According to a new FCC estimate obtained by Mediaweek, nearly all indecency complaints in 2003 — 99.8 percent — were filed by the Parents Television Council, an activist group.

Read more about it here

Now, if they media is going to be controlled by crazed, elitist assholes, can’t they be me? I mean, seriously, I’m crazy like a gorilla and twice as sexy.

I had a conversation with someone I haven’t spoken to in years, and then said “Ooh, ooh, I did this hysterical thing where I put my face on a baby in a monkey suit!” and she just sighed and said “I know, I saw. It’s nice to know some things haven’t changed at all.”

So maybe they have and maybe they haven’t. If you don’t think I have your address, send it to me and I will give you the hook up. What, exactly, I’ll hook you up with, I have no idea, but it’ll be fly. For realz. I’m spending Christmas with just Allie and I here in Ohio, unfortunately, but at least we get to have a little tree of our own, open our presents, I can attempt to make Christmas dinner (mmmmmm, destroyed goose) and we can live grand little country lives. New Years, though, I’m going to party like it’s 1899, then like it’s 1799, then like it’s 1699, and keep going backwards until I pass out from time travel madness.

Hey, maybe that’ll b a new years resolution. No, not time travel, but being a better cook. Because at some point, eating garbage scraps just becomes tacky.

All of the problem, none of the solution, I remain…

PS. I did a drawring. It lives here…

P.P.S . In this entry I managed to misspell ìCarcharodon carcharias,î ìRestaurant,î ìlaizzes,î and once, even ìskinned.î ìRealz,î ìdrawring,î ìdorky,î ìMediaweek,î ìgajillion,î and ìShaqî are all made-up words.