The Demonweasel Speaks

So, it never ends, huh? One of the things I hate the most about how I write is that I just keep coming up with ideas, and in running around trying to track them all down, I achieve as much as a dog chasing his tail. Or is it his tale?

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

I was at the bar last night, in the midst of tremendous weather and storms and such, watching basketball when an idea I’d been kicking around a while came a’knockin and I found myself asking for a pen and was scribbling ideas down in my trusty little notebook. Of course, I had to retranslate them this afternoon into things more legible, but I think I’ve got something going on. I had originally planned on doing this thing as a screenplay, but after some thought, I think graphic novel is more appropriate. I’m trying not to think about the problems inherent with doing a graphic novel (chief of which being “no artist”), and instead focusing on the work.

Of course, there’s the problem. Stop everything I’m doing and focus on this instead? I suppose any writing is worthwhile, but what happens when I jump to something else, and then something, and then something else. I guess the best way would be to just put this thing to bed.

We’ll see how that goes…

Jotting down nonsense, I remain…

Did you ever see the movie “The Jerk”? The one with Steve Martin? If you haven’t, go watch it now, because it’s brilliant. I’ll wait. There’s a scene in it where he’s in bed talking to his girlfriend who is asleep next to him, and he says “Even though we’ve only been together for three weeks and five days, it feels like we’ve been together for two months, three weeks and a day. The first day was like three days, the second day was like two days, the third day you went to go visit your mother, so that was just a day, but when you came back in the afternoon that was like another day that spilled into the next day…well, I have it all written down, I can show you later.”

That’s what this week has been like. I got home on Monday and after I was thought about it, I was like “There’s no fucking way that was just one day.” But no, almost every day this week was a long, winding odyssey of irritation and crap. We were robbed, for one, which is just fucking ridiculous. Someone came into our back room while we were in the front (as the back door was open because the air conditioning was broken) and took our deposit bag for May out of its secure location. Thankfully, there was no cash in said bag, but still there were $1,200 in checks and our copies of all the credit card receipts that people had used since the first. It’s a mess. There were lights exploding in the ceiling, the AC breaking, random sales people personal crisis and, of course, book rush. Not much of a book rush, mind you, but still, when all you have is two people, a rush can be a trickle under normal circumstances.

I’m trying hard in my own personal life to keep things chipper, light and happy. I’m failing miserably, but I’m not going to go into it. I’m trying to focus on writing work (and maybe exercising, which explains why I’m spending so much time on it lately), but I guess I’m not that good on focusing on that to the exclusion of everything else like some people.

Yes, exercising. On Tuesday I wrapped my hands for the first time and working on the speed and heavy bags. I didn’t wrap my right well enough, though, and got a nasty abrasion on the second knuckle on my right pointing finger. So now my pointing looks are grizzly and shitty. I wish I could train with someone, or spar, even if it meant getting knocked out and bruised on a consistent basis. At least it would give me the chance to give as good as I’m getting, though.

I’m still sticking with my prediction of the Pacers going to the finals, but it looks rough. The Lakers are rolling, and for some reason I think Detroit would do well against them (although they played like shit last night). I’m just going to spit nails if the Lakers win and sweep the East. Where’s the East coast love?

I found a CD with a bunch of old MP3s from a couple of Hard Drive reformats ago. Fun older stuff like “Teenage Dirtbag,” “Big Pimpin,” and an old favorite, the techno mix of “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” I feel very middle school walking around singing it at the top my lungs in my apartment. The other day at work I was singing “It’s a Hard Knock Life” in a Robert Goulet voice, and a girl came in, picked up her paper and left. I stopped singing long enough to check her name off and that’s it. My boss said she was embarrassed for me, but really, what’s the point?

I should feel that way more often, but I don’t. I feel it more than I used too, but still. It’s like Jim Cunningham says, I have to live off the path of fear.

I don’t need you, I don’t need anything…just my dog…and this lamp…I don’t need anything but my dog, this lamp…and this pack of playing cards…and this chair…the dog, the lamp, the playing cards and the chair and that’s it, that’s all I need, and I remain…

So I’ve got my blood up and I don’t know what to do with myself.

Not in a bad, violent way, mind you, just that pacing the cage, looking to tear-ass across the country-side just to feel the wind on my face and the night air in my lungs. That’s not going to happen, I fear, so I think once I pound this out I’m going to do some writing. You know, that thing that I do.

I need to switch to decaf tea, which sucks. Less caffeine? Where has my head gone?

With a bang, not a whimper, the last episode of “Angel” was on Wednesday. I can’t believe they went with the Butch & Sundance ending (going out in a blaze of glory against impossible odds). I guess there isn’t any other way they could have done it, but still… It’s the way I’d want to go, I think, if one can choose a heroic death (as opposed to having one thrust upon you, which is almost always the case).

“Smallville” was good too, if you can call an ending where everyone is either dead, missing or in jail good. A theory I’ve seen bandied about is that, in order to stave off lengthy contract renegotiations for season 4, they leave everyone in a situation where they go “You don’t want what we’re offering? Fine, your character stays dead/missing/on vacation/in jail.” Kind of dirty pool if you ask me, but hey, I guess that’s life in the big city (or small Kansas farm town).

It looks like I’ll be going to a sci-fi convention in Columbus this coming weekend (Marcon), which will be my first convention experience. I’ll be working, but I think there will be some time for looking around and such. Should be interesting, if only for stories and such.

I have too many ideas. I need to either get more time that I actually use to write, or…well, just fucking do it, I guess. There really aren’t any other options. It’s just deciding what I’m going to work on which can be the problem. It should be the book, but I don’t want to loose the new ideas for short stories and the like that are coming out. Decisions, decisions.

In happier news, everyone wish my mother congratulations, as she graduated from college on Friday. I loves ya ma!

Barking at the moon, I remain…

So I’m opening the floor to a meme and whoring for comments at the same time.

Make a comment (click on the little blue “Comments” thing at the bottom of this post) and ask me any three questions you’d like and I’ll do my best to answer them. You don’t have to leave your name and email address if you feel paranoid about that kind of thing (or want to be a kind of creepy stalker), just make something up for them.

Inquisitive, I remain…

A little vacation time, a little time to recharge the batteries and think about things that needed thought about.

That’s a fancy way for saying I haven’t really had anything to say.

I’m in the process of trying to change up my schedule and lifestyle. I think I’m slowly morphing myself into a more physically healthy person. Changing my diet, drinking less caffeine, that sort of stuff. I think it’s ridiculous that I set my alarm for 8:30, ride the snooze bar until 9:15 or 9:30, leap into the shower then get dressed and rush to be at work by 10:00. That’s lame. So, I’ve been pushing to get up earlier and do things. I’ve gone for a couple of early morning bike rides, done some of the important business that I need to do that often slips through the cracks. It’s important because when I start working at DS, I probably won’t be going in until noon or so, and there’s no reason to waste those mornings. I’ve been going to the gym on Tuesdays and Fridays and then doing freeweights stuff at home on Sunday nights (usually watching Sopranos, Deadwood and Six Feet Under). I’m looking into taking up Yoga and Boxing, too.

Maybe I am trying to be one of those “super soldier” guys. Going diesel, as some may say. Of course, with me it’s more like “going unleaded.” But gas prices are high, so maybe that means more.

The only thing missing in the equation is writing. I feel more positive and energized about it than ever…I’m just not doing it. I think I have to push back some of those morning hours and try to be doing it then. I guess the perfect day would be getting up, having breakfast and watching Sportscenter, working out, writing, then going to work. All that can be done in the times between waking up and noon, right? There should be. It’s been a bit of a rough adjustment as I get tired during the day more and find myself having to take naps some nights when I get home, and then ending up staying up until 1 or 2 still.

It’s kind of funny that I’m just now working towards doing the things that people had told me I had needed to do in my life years ago. I guess I just hate being told what to do.

What I love, though, are thunderstorms. We’ve had two of them in the past two days, the really rip-roaring midwest kind, where the thunder sounds like the sky is ripping itself apart and the lighting is so bright it’s like daylight. I love that feeling in there, like indescribable power surging through the atmosphere, and if you could just reach out and grab it, harness it, you could bend the heavens to your will.

Is that bad? Are those the seeds of delusional megalomania? Who knows.

I’ve been on-again/off-again with basketball. I was at the bar watching the NJ triple-overtime win over Detroit, surrounded mostly by Detroit fans. It was fun, though. I hung out and had great bar conversations with guys talking about guy things. I hadn’t been there in ages (technically it’s a new bar, as the old one has been made uninhabitable), and it’s nice to feel that atmosphere again, and to do it in a healthy way. I’m shocked that the Lakers one, and the way Miami is playing it doesn’t look like the Pacers will make it either. But hey, that’s why I love this game. I’m still irritated by the article on Fark that said Nascar has better ratings than basketball. How fucking lame is that?

So yeah, everything is changing, and I hope it’s for the better. Time only knows.

Whistling “there goes the bride”, I remain…

So I think yesterday was one of the best vacation days. Monday was kind of lame and disappointing, and I just didn’t get a lot done on Tuesday or Wednesday. I did, however, make calls about research stuff, so now I’m in the dubious position of waiting for calls back, which is kind of irritating, but it’s forward motion, and I’m all about the forward motion.

But yesterday: Woke up at about 10:30 or so, had breakfast and watched SportsCenter (mainly because I wanted to see highlights of the Lakers getting *smoked* by the Spurs. My finals prediction: Spurs/Pacers…Spurs in 6 games). After that, since it was so fucking gorgeous yesterday, I printed out Chapter Seven of the book (where I last edited, and I almost was sick to my stomach when I saw the last time I had even opened the file was in January. That’s just wrong) and laid out in the sun with shirt off editing. I’d find out later that I’d get a mild sunburn, but that’s okay. Halfway through, I packed it up with some other stuff and headed to the gym on campus. I haven’t been there in years, and it was painfully obvious when I started working out. I guess there’s only so much you can do with free weights in your house, so everything that I did was probably muscles that hadn’t been worked on in a while. I’m still sore, but that good kind of sore (although I did bruise my knuckles on my left hand from working on the heavy bag, because I have issues to work out). After that it was in town for lunch, coffee, and the finishing of my editing.

I got home in time to watch “Angel” (they are on last seasons final act, which was fairly good), and when Allie came over we played and then I napped as she watched cartoons. Then the Pacers/Heat game, a nice steak dinner, and hanging out and drinking wine with my neighbors. Good stuff, all around. Today I’m going to make those editing changes, print out another chapter and take it with me when I go to do *sigh* laundry. I should also get a haircut, but I don’t think that’s going to happen.

I was asked last week when the best time in my life was, and the more I thought about it, I realized that, despite some serious problems in my personal life, this is. I like the person that I am, the place that I’m in. I’m nervous as hell at starting a new job, but I know in reality it’s not going to be a big deal. That’s another thing I should do today, go over insurance stuff.

The guy doing to Dayton Comics Workshop called the other day, which was a nice surprise. The group will be meeting soon, and apparently it’s mostly artists rather than writers, which is good, as I don’t want to fight with other people about getting an artist to do my stuff, or fight to work with the person I want to work with (if such a person exists). I found myself making silent promises to not be a jerk an a know it all, but then I realized that I really do know a lot about this kind of thing, having picked up lots of little kernels of knowledge over the years. I’m not going to sit on them for the sake of “making friends.” This is business, and it has to be done a certain way or we’re just hobbyists. I’m sick of being a hobbyist when it comes to writing.

So in all those aspects, life is very good, and I’m very happy. In the aspects that I haven’t talked about, things suck and I’m miserable, but that’s all I’m going to say about that. So there.

Lead singer of my band, I remain…

I was flipping around HBO the other day and I cam upon the Masters of the Universe movie. Y’know, He-Man. Dunno why they didn’t call it He-Man, but still, it was the hotness when I was a kid. A stupid, stupid kid. Anyway, it was on, and I watched the first 15 minutes of it and realized that the young teenage girl is Courtney Cox. Then I saw that her teenaged love interest was Robert Duncan McNeil, aka Lieutenant Paris from Star Trek: Voyager. And then they had their schmaltzy love talk in a van…while listening to the song “I’m livin’ in a box, I’m livin’ in a cardboard box.” That’s the definition of ridiculous: Courtney Cox and Lt. Paris sitting in a van have a deep conversation while listening to “I’m livin in a box” in the He-Man movie.

I’m on vacation now. Sure, I had to work at Dark Star today, but now, I’m on vacation. For real. I can stay up late without undue consequence, although I’ve stupidly put tons of pressure on myself for things to do during this week. We’ll see if more than half of them get done.

But I’m an optimist. Honest.

Also in my flipping around, I saw the first half of “Carrie 2: The Rage,” on USA. I think it’s bold to subtitle a movie with the emotion people have after wasting even a minute of their time watching it. But I respect boldness.

I’ve been pimping myself out on Friendster lately. Not only that, but thanks to my particular brand of psychosis I’ve been looking up all manner of folks from high school, be they friends, crushes, acquaintances and enemies. It’s funny to see who’s still out there. I must have ten year reunion on the back-brain-burner. But there I am, add me if you’re on it, and if you aren’t, get on there and then add me. Because we could all use more friends.

Should I stay up until 2:15 watching Roger Corman’s Frankenstein Unbound? It seems like a dreadful way to start my vacation, but hey, dreadful has its place.

Tattoo has healed nicely. Pictures maybe one day. One of my vacation agenda items is futzing around with this page, so we’ll see what comes of it. I’m tired of having a splash page at the main address, so I may try to not destroy everything and fix that. We shall see.

Yesterday was splendidly gorgeous, and I went for a six mile bike ride. It was nice to get out in the sun, riding at a nice pace along the bike trail. It’s mostly wooded at the edges, but every now and again you get a peek into the surrounding farmland, flat as Ohio gets. Off in the distance there are the highways, running parallel, but much faster, to you. That’s fine, though. Some people take the highway, some people take the bike trail. Some people get there faster, some people take longer. The important thing is to go at your own pace, the pace that you want to sent, and not one that’s set for you. Enjoy the ride, feel the sun, take care of yourself, and try to keep the bugs out of your teeth.

I don’t know what I’m talking about, but I remain…