The Demonweasel Speaks

So I got my tattoo today. Great Ceasar’s ghost it was a bit painful. But it looks good, and after three years I finally got it. It’s funny, because I called my folks right afterwards, and when I brought it up I could hear the palpable horror in my mother’s voice. Sorry, Ma ;).

I listened to the first half of the Nets/Knicks game as I was getting it done, and afterward got to watch the Nets finish the job and sweep the Knicks. A shame, really, as I feel for both teams, but NY will rise again, hopefully by the times the Nets move to Brooklyn and I disown them.

Graduation at the college was Saturday, and it was the usual mix of emotions. Each year, it seems, less and less people I care about graduate, and I think this may have been the last one for a while. As always I watch people cross the mound and have a pang of regret and envy, but it passes like it always does. There’s just something about a shared experience, and knowing that you may never be a part of it. But I prefer to be happy for those that have commenced and not bitter at their success.

Working full-time at Dark Star is looking closer and closer like a done deal. It wouldn’t be until around July, but the more I think about it the more I am sure it’s the right call. I was talking to someone about it today and I said it seems like everything I do there now feels like a “this could be the last time I do this.” I’m not sad, per se, just…sentimental. I guess I’m just that way.

Nostalgic in my old age, I remain…

If I ever have a �They Might be Giants� cover band, that’s what I’m going to call them.

I’m reading “Critical Space” again, winding up my whirlwind reacquaintance with Rucka’s Atticus Kodiak series of books. I’m at the part where they describe this lifestyle change, this total change in fitness, diet and mindset that one goes through, and I remember going back and reading it a couple of times after I finished the book the first time, wondering what it would be like to try that. A total test of body and willpower, pushing everything to the breaking point for a redone, remade body and mindset. Of course, there are no sweets and no caffeine on this type of diet, and just the thought of that makes me cringe. It’d be near impossible and completely unfeasible, but still, so fascinating.

Then I remind myself that I’m not a bodyguard. I’m not a private eye, I’m not an assassin, I’m not a bail enforcement agent. I’m not FBI, CIA, SAS, or NSA. I’m just a guy, a guy who writes things or writes blog entries about not writing enough things. It’s a nice little fantasy diversion totally locked in nerd-dom, but playing pretend comes with the territory. Whatever exercise and whatnot I do is from sheer vanity, something I’ve been accused of before and I’m sure will be again. Honing my body into a finely tuned machine of muscle, speed and danger isn’t going to get me a better parking space or make everyday double coupon day. It’s not even like I’m trying to attract a mate.

But still, there’s always the wonders and the “what ifs?”

I went and watched the senior projects in creative writing tonight, and they were all really good. Going to the readings made me miss most of “24″ and Nets/Knicks game 2 (my current team vs my future team, how ironic), but those are just shows and things, ultimately doing these kinds of things are light-years more important. I ran into one of my old Lit professors before the thing started, and she told me that I should enjoy myself because there were a couple of sci-fi/fantasy things being read, so I should enjoy myself. *sigh* Honestly, like that’s all I care about. I read action/adventure/crime novels too, y’know…

These past few days I’ve been looking around at work as I do things and gone “This could really be the last time I do this.” Sure, I’d had that idle thought before (and I think we all silently hope that each book buyback will be our last), but now it’s much more tangible. Walking home I ended up taking a semi-circuitous route that almost felt like a “this is your life” tour. I walked past the last dorm I lived in, down towards the apartment I lived in when I was married, near one of the various places in town I lived in and then ended up back here, the latest home sweet home. It’s was semi-surreal, but made me appreciate the distance between then and now. Miles to go before I sleep and all that, but it’s growth and it’s change and for the vast majority it’s all positive. That’s the important thing.

Playoff basketball has been good, even when it’s a total beat down by the home teams (all of which are undefeated league wide in the various series thus far). Rockets/Lakers has been fun (even with that thrice damned Laker team leading the series), and I watched Mavericks/Kings game 2 tonight, which was a hell of a nail biter.

To make sure I don’t chicken out, I’m saying here that I’m scheduled to get my ink this Friday. That’s right, tattoo #1. All talk of action adventure “hard-man” goes away when I think about it though, but I’m sure it will be fine and I won’t catch any diseases and everything will look peachy keen. So yeah, we’ll see what happens. It will be a great success, of this I am certain.

I’ve been telling myself this week that putting one’s self in a positive mindset is the best way to achieve positive results and that only negative things come from thinking negative thoughts.

With your thought for the day, I remain…

It’s nice to know that when I whine about things in my life being boring someone out there sits up, takes notice, and gets the karmic cattle-prod. I guess it’s good, in a way, as my Free Will Astrology horoscope has been saying now is the time to take chances and grasp opportunities, but still.

Does that last sentence use too many commas? Only your store manager knows for sure… ;)

I’ve had word on the job front. Not from Antioch, of course, but an opportunity has arisen, and now I have to go from idly kicking it around like I have all week to giving it serious, grievous thought. It’s not totally life changing, but I’m deathly afraid of making the wrong decision and looking back on this moment in history a year from now and going “Why, oh why, didn’t I take the *blue* pill?” I think it’s a good thing, and maybe could lead to more money than I’m getting now, and only working 40 hours a week, but still.

Who knows, maybe this will all fall through.

A lot of other stuff feels like it’s up in the air lately. My ex is graduating this coming weekend, and she was telling me that Allie isn’t doing as well in school as we had hoped, so we have to begin to consider other schools or changing our plans for her. It’s scary, and with this and so many other things I just feel so powerless, like all I can do is just put my head down and focus on my own shit, but with all of these other things going on around me I just can’t ignore them.

No wonder my stomach has felt practically ulcer ridden the past few days. I’m hoping I just have a stomach flu or something. I’ve been eating Rolaids like candy.

In other amusing news, I recently got word about my 10 year High School reunion, which will be either over Thanksgiving or in January or February. I’m hoping for the Jan/Feb date, because I like to keep my holidays free.

And in total strangeness, I just realized that the Priest from the Sopranos is the same actor who is Ryan Chappelle on 24.

Tossing it all in the air, seeing it land where it may, I remain…

First off, The Exorcist in 30 Seconds (Performed by Bunnies)

I wasted w whole fuckload of time the other night (which those who know me means anytime from right now to three years ago) making a new LJ icon, because I finally found the way back to the South Park Character Generator.

And the original…

Is there more? Geez, I don’t think so.

Picture perfect, I remain…

I always get weirded out when people ask me “What’s new?” because really, nothing is ever new. I don’t do much. I’m not saying that in a mopey “woe is me” way, but it’s just fact. I don’t do a lot, and I’m okay with that.

But here are some things…

I watched “Darkness Falls” and “Hellraiser: Bloodlines” in the past few days. Boy, that’s kind of a lot of crap. DF was decent, in a PG-13, criminal abuse of the cat-scare, this is the kind of horror movie that has been made every day since Scream came out, kind of way. H:B was just god awful. It was like watching a cinematic train wreck (no wonder “Alan Smithee” directed). Simply the worst in the trying to be over-the-top gore and senseless violence. And when I say that, that’s saying something.

Deadwood, again, is total kickass. I forgot to let people know that they did a marathon of the first three episodes last Friday, so…they did a marathon of the last three episodes last Friday. And “Best Week Ever” is right…apparently they used the epithet “cocksucker” a lot in the old west. Who knew?

I ripped a bunch of CDs I had that I realized I never did when I lost my hard drive before. X-ecutioners, Eminem, Blues Brothers, Pink Floyd, Lost Prophets. I made another CD, because that’s what I do now, I guess, as well as a SNL volume 3 (which has skits and musical guests from SNL on it, like the previous 2).

I wasted Friday at the BMV. Even worse, I wasted it at the BMV in Columbus, an hour away. I hate the bureaucracy.

Bought picture frames, and I’m going to print art out and put it in the frames to fool people into thinking I have class and culture. I’m really just sick of looking at blank walls.

See? Nothing is happening. I have the first week in May off at work, and I’m going to, I swear to God I’m going to, do something productive. Like interview someone. Be unique, edit a novel, something like that.

I kind of like the story I’m working on. It’s a small, stand-alone part of something bigger. I sudden reached this point in my brain where I can think about working in the short form, where I get an idea for something and I now have a framework for it. I need to do more research, but into neat-o things like the occult and mythology. They are such fertile playgrounds, and it’s my turn on the big kids swing.

I found this website while researching Morningside Heights in Manhattan. It’s where I’m setting my PI’s office, I believe, or very close to it. It has a staggering amount of material about the area, and frankly, reading it makes me miss Manhattan a lot.

Also, for fans of the NYC, check out NYC Bloggers. It’s a blog map of the five boroughs, indexed by subway stop. Bloody brilliant.

Boring, tired, I remain…

Clearly, I’m going through some sort of manic episode, although I hate using terminology like “manic episode,” because it’s way too clinical for my taste, but I just don’t swing that way. I yam what I yam, as the immortal bard said.

I was at work today and these two women were browsing around, and they saw our movie-edition copies of “Road to Perdition.” “Oh look,” one said, “Road to Perdition. My husband loved that movie, I should get the book…oh wait…it’s a comic book. Pfft. Nevermind.” It irritates me. It just does, but really, getting irritated about that kind of snobbery (from people in a masters program, natch) just gets you nowhere. But still…

Speaking of comics, the first issue of a four issue “Ghostbusters” comic series came out today. How fucking cool is that? It’s pretty decent and has a lot of the same kind of humor as the movie (although, how can you compete with Bill Murray? That’s right, you can’t). The art isn’t exactly to my liking, almost Todd McFarlane meets “The Real Ghostbusters” cartoon, but it does the job and doesn’t get in the way. Ghostbusters comic book. How cool is that?

Last night I emailed my Dad a question about the story I’m working on, as it’s set in Manhattan, and despite being a NYC-suburbs kid, there’s still plenty I don’t know. He wrote back this morning with good input, and that made me feel real good. I don’t talk directly with my family (or most anyone, I guess) about writing, and I don’t know why that is. I think, on some level, I don’t think I’m ready to come out and say “I’m a writer” and deal with all the baggage that goes on with that (or maybe I’m sick of people saying “You know what you should write?” And God, I’ll never forget sharing a booth at the diner in town with Toni and this random guy we sat with because it was crowded. He gave us [mainly her] all this writing advice, which mainly consisted of staring at her profusely and saying things like “You should write a play that makes people think.” I really wanted to say “You should stop giving writing advice and trying to fuck my girlfriend, how about that?”).

That parenthetical diversion deserves its own paragraph (thanks to the profuse pondering), but I’m gonna let it stand as is.

I wonder why that’s why I have a hard time doing research that involves interviews and the like, that I’m not ready to face some stranger head on and say “Yes, this is for something I’m writing,” as if they would just laugh and say “You’re no writer.” Really, it’s the stupidest thing in the world, but I think it’s some kind of block. Slowly, I’ll wear it down. Fo’ serious.

So SpikeTV is running a Star Trek: Deep Space Nine marathon. And a choir of heavenly angels began to sing. Noon until 9 everyday, every episode, in order. I’ve got all my tapes of Trek stuff and am preparing to tape over a ton of shit. I mean, Voyager? C’mon. I watched an episode of Voyager tonight, actually (after watching three DS9 episodes when I got home from work tonight) trying to see if it was as bad as I remember. Good lord, it was worse.

“Technology brought us to the Delta Quadrant. It stands to reason that technology will be our way home.” Really Tuvok? Hold the fucking presses, Columbo, you solved the case! The fuck. I remember when Voyager was on the air, and there was this thin veil of hope, as we all talked about what we’d do different, and how it could get better next season if they did this and this and this, etc. What a total waste of a premise. What utterly lowest common denominator storytelling. The ratings are down? Let’s bring in a Borg with some big ass titties! Those geeks like that!

Thankfully, it looks like Enterprise is getting cancelled at the end of the season. Let the franchise rest, at least until Rick Berman, Brannon Bragga and all their cronies are long gone, and start fresh with people who have brains.

I leave you with the CD I made tonight that is burning as we speak…

Hip-Hop Identity Crisis
1. The Ceasars – Jerk it Out
2. They Might Be Giants – Mr. Me
3. Ludacris – Stand Up
4. Space – The Female of the Species
5. Miles Davis – Two Bass Hit (Alternate Take)
6. Roni Size & Cypress Hill – Child of the Wild West
7. Stevie Ray Vaughn – Pride & Joy
8. Eric Clapton & BB King – Hold on, I’m Coming
9. Jay-Z/DJ Danger Mouse – Change Clothes
10. 30 Seconds to Mars – Capricorn
11. Moby/Mystical – Gettin’ Agressive
12. Ben Folds Five – Narcolepsy
13. Nelly – Air Force Ones
14. Rolling Stones – 19th Nervous Breakdown
15. Danny Saber & Marco Bellitrami – I Against I
16. Paul Oakenfold – Zoo York
17. Harry Conick, Jr. – It Had to be You

Identity crisis, indeed, I remain…

I’m still trying to recover from watching Donald Trump host SNL. God, has there ever been a more self-involved, self-promoting douche? If he and Paris Hilton ever got together, I think they’d hatch Damien or something. Some things were actually funny, but there was a major creep-out factor.

Great article about a study on “illegal” file-sharing and how it relates to record sales in today’s New York Times. I won’t spout off here, I’ll let Felix Oberholzer-Gee of the Harvard Business School and co-author of the report speak for me…

“Downloads have an effect on sales which is statistically indistinguishable from zero.”

“While downloads occur on a vast scale, most users are likely individuals who would not have bought the album in the absence of file sharing.”

I didn’t get to read all of it, but they used Math and shit. I haven’t found a copy of the article on the net (not looking helps, but I only looked on Fark), but they used math and shit. So it must be true, because math has never lied.

Ever.

Quick in, quick out, I remain…