The Demonweasel Speaks

These are so so cute

Another work-filled past few days, but it’ll all be done soon.

I was talking about New York a lot today, and it made me miss it. I need to get back there. Hopefully it would give some boost to our sports teams. I’m almost sad to see Jim Fassel fired, but I think the Giants need a new direction. Go young, grab a hot, mobile quarterback, get a solid offensive line and a new coach that is young and can give us a hot offense. Because we really need something, and it looks like we’ll be in a good position for the draft this year. And for coaching, hey, maybe we can get one of those assistant coaches from New England.

And I’ve told this to a lot of people, but I’m going on record that the Super Bowl is going to be Eagles/Patriots, as much as it pains me to do so as a New Yorker, but both teams are so hot right now. I’m not gonna pick a winner, because that’s like picking between being crucified and being set on fire.

Continuing with the sports, after losing by 47 POINTS! to the Memphis Grizzles, the Nets are totally loosing their shit. Apparently, Jason Kidd went into the locker room and reamed out coach Byron Scott, which really kind of sucks. And I kept meaning to say this, but if they move the team out of Jersey, I’m becoming a Knicks fan.

I’m sure there’s more going on other than sports. Hmmmm. Let me think…Oh yeah, there was that guy…that we found…in the spider-hole…what was his name?

I can’t really go into the Saddam thing, but despite the fact that it’s good for Bush, it maybe will give some Iraqis closure, and that’s a good thing. It, however, is totally lame that people are all upset that he’s “being a wiseass” and everyone takes joy in the fact that he was hiding in a “spider-hole” trapped like a rat, and he didn’t even fight back, the big pussy. Y’know, if I used to be a dictator, and I had to hide in a tiny hole while the enemy combed the country looking for me, I’d be a bit testy when caught also.

Speaking of “spider-holes”, there’s a new Spider-Man 2 trailer. Talk about the new hotness… :)

It’s late, I’m tired. I’ll be in Iowa this year for Christmas and New Years, visiting the little woman. I won’t be checking email or anything (maybe I’ll find a way, but I get more spam than anything else lately), so Happy Kwanza and all that jazz…

Down the spider-hole (I love that phrase), I remain…

I was writing a post earlier and it got lost, and that makes me sad. I’m going to come up with new material, because that’s all gone now.

So I took this quiz at Selectsmart.com to see which candidate lines up with me best. Let’s go to the video tape.

1. Your ideal theoretical candidate. (100%) Click here for info
2. Kucinich, Rep. Dennis, OH – Democrat (75%) Click here for info
3. Dean, Gov. Howard, VT – Democrat (69%) Click here for info
4. Clark, Retired General Wesley K., AR – Democrat (69%) Click here for info
5. Gephardt, Rep. Dick, MO – Democrat (66%) Click here for info
6. Edwards, Senator John, NC – Democrat (61%) Click here for info
7. Sharpton, Reverend Al – Democrat (61%) Click here for info
8. Kerry, Senator John, MA – Democrat (59%) Click here for info
9. Lieberman, Senator Joe, CT – Democrat (36%) Click here for info
10. Moseley-Braun, Former Senator Carol, IL – Democrat (31%) Click here for info
11. Libertarian Candidate (31%) Click here for info
12. LaRouche, Lyndon H. Jr. – Democrat (30%) Click here for info
13. Phillips, Howard – Constitution (12%) Click here for info
14. Bush, President George W. – Republican (6%) Click here for info

I took this thing earlier in the day, and the results were pretty much the same, although Gen. Clark jumped up a bit this evening (it was a Dean above Gephardt by a point this morning, and at about the same spread between Dean and Kucinich). Interesting results, although in a way it makes me sad for Kucinich. Because he will never be President. I mean, honestly, look at him. He looks like a crack addicted hobbit. He has no charisma. He’s not attractive. He’s unmarried. His name is almost impossible for the average American to pronounce. He’s just not presidential. Is that fair? No, not all. But hey, it turns out life isn’t fair. Life sucks, get a helmet. It makes me feel better about picking Dean, as sometimes picking a candidate during the primaries is crap shoot.

Every now and then I get on CD making kicks. It’s fun, although it almost always requires me getting new music first (or rediscovering old music). Sometimes, this can be frustrating, what with dial-up making file-sharing hard (NEWS: Peer-to-Peer downloading ruled legal under Canadian law, which, of course, is only useful if you’re from Canadia). Last week I made an all-geek CD, and it goes something like this.

1. Baxendale – Don’t Smooch in Front of Me
2. Devo – Whip It
3. Thomas Dolby – She Blinded me with Science
4. Flashlight Brown – Ready to Roll
5. Bowling for Soup – Sucker Punch
6. Nerf Herder – Golfshirt
7. Timbuk 3 – The Future’s So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades
8. Barcelona – C-64
9. Stan Bush – You’ve Got the Touch < -- Bonus Geek points to those that know what movie this song came from...
10. Baxendale – Music for Girls
11. MC Chris – Fette’s Vette
12. Digital Underground – The Humpty Dance
13. Rage Against the Machine – Imperial March
14. Mallrats – Kryptonite Condoms (scene)
15. Barcelona – I have the password to your shell account
16. Tenacious D – Star Trek
17. Nerf Herder – Nosering Girl
18. Barcelona – Robot Trouble
19. Jerry Goldsmith – Star Trek: Deep Space Nine theme

CDs are fun, and available upon request (this one or others, please specify Safe for Work or not, as my CDs are AC/DC, they swing both ways). A perfect stocking stuffer for people who like their stockings stuffed (and who doesn’t? Commies, that’s who…)

Speaking of stockings and good cheer, here’s something else you can add to my Wishlist (although you can’t get them at Amazon are some nice cigars. With my wheels out of the picture, I’d kill for some nice Churchills. My humidor is lonely and empty.

So after some time away, I’ve updated my Profile, mostly just with a new picture. I’m glad that they let me get a copy.

Anyway, I was tooling around the internet today and it kind of dawned on me: why the fuck is everyone so negative? Everything is about hating or not liking things, everything is about how this person sucks, that guy blows, or that chick is a douche-nozzle. Yes, I know it’s ironic hearing me say that two days out from a post that was really just streaming bile trying to be clever.

But still, there’s always going to be something about the net, blogs and newsgroups that lets people feel so damn free with their hate, and that’s kind of sad. You go on Fark and read the comments and it’s like nobody likes anything. Everything is horrible, everything sucks, there isn’t a single good thing anywhere you look, and everyone should be killed.

Really, it’s just fucking depressing. I found some stuff on LJ today that confused me and made me angry, but then I was like “Take a step back, it’s the internet.” I’m not 14 anymore, hell, I’m not *24* anymore. That kind of negative spew is just…draining. They have done studies where they show people that are racist actively reduce their lifespan when exposed to the people they are racist against. Hate, it turns out, is cancer apparently.

Now, this isn’t turning into the “Fluffy Kittens Rainbow Hour” or anything, but damn. Sometimes I think we (and yes, I’m including myself in this) need to chill the fuck out, take a step back and put things into perspective.

I saw “Pieces of April” at the art theatre in town today. It was really nice. I’ve seen better, I thought it would be funnier, but still, it was a nice film. A nice film that gives you a little bit of the warm fuzzies.

I know I’m late, but I’m thankful for all of you, my audience, my friends far and near. I’m thankful for people that I love coming back into my life, and I’m thankful that people I don’t stay the hell away. While I may not be up with Jesus or any of that hoo-hah, this is the time of year to wish everyone good fortune, and I wish it on all of you.

Not a wise man, but trying, I remain…

It’s amazing how much your attitude can improve after a really shitty day when you come home, have a bottle of wine, a pint of ice cream and a cool DVD. I’m going to bed now, and you know what? I’m going to have a better day tomorrow. You know why? Because I’m going to look myself in the mirror tomorrow morning and tell myself I am. Because it’s just that damn simple.

Peace(ful), I remain…

Last night was the last part of Battlestar Galactica. Fun, even though afterward you realize it’s really just a 4-hour pilot for a TV show they probably will never make. And if they did, I doubt the principal actors would be back for it. I mean, Edward James Olmos doing an hour long sci-fi drama? I dunno…

It’s fun and has a lot of potential. A lot of little interpersonal conflicts and problems, as well as little mysteries and things that the audience knows but the characters will have to figure out. It really is a fine setup for something, but it’s frustrating when you go into it thinking that it’s going to be its own standalone thing. Of course, maybe that’s just my own ignorance showing.

And hey, when did people start getting so fucking dumb? I can’t swing a dead cat around here lately without running into some semi-functional peckerwood stumbling through life all asses and elbows, fucking it up for everyone else. Everyone is freaking out about the flu and flu shots. Why? Did I miss the memo about the flu growing 50 feet tall and devouring cities. Okay, so a baby dies of the flu. That’s a tragedy, yes, but babies are dropping like flies all around the world. I guess when it’s in this country and it’s because parents are too fucking dumb to keep their kid warm it becomes a crisis. And guess what, we danced this dance last year and they are getting the sheet music ready for the next year. I can almost picture pharmaceutical executives sneaking into some middle-class white family’s house with a big syringe, making their way to the baby’s room, visions of flu-shot profits dancing in their heads.

And I can’t stand the conservative news stations with their smarmy cock-monkeys like Bill O’Reilly and that tight-ass douche-nozzle on Scarborough Country. And yes, I hope “Bill O’Reilly is a cock-monkey” and “Scarborough Country douche-nozzle” show up on the next search string. Can I channel surf without being subjected to their self-righteous idiocy, or see the knuckle-dragging primates on the Jesus channel? I get enough blinding idiocy at work, I don’t need to witness it when I try to relax, too.

And you know what else I’m sick of? Those obnoxious shows on VH1 that are “It’s good to be…” and it’s the name of some marginally-talented jackass, an they talk about how much money that have (and you, consequently, do not). I don’t give a shit if Justin Timberlake has 70 pairs of sneakers, or that he has 8 cars, totaling $380,000. You know what Justin, go fuck yourself. How about that? And again, don’t get me started on the Hilton sisters. Christ, I feel my forehead throbbing just thinking about them. And Trista and Ryan’s Wedding? It should be followed by their sterilization, because that’s one genetic branch that needs trimmed PDQ.

I often get asked why I’m so cranky, and honestly, I have no answer. I wish I did, but I don’t. I guess I just reached a point where I stopped being comically amused by these sorts of thing and have just gone into a zero-tolerance policy with them, and we all know how well zero-tolerance policies work. I can’t help it if I can only respond to a stupid question with a smart-assed answer (Although I still love the “Where can I find Hamlet?” “Denmark.” joke of a couple of months ago. That’s gold, Jerry! Gold!).

I mean, we all have our stupidity, our moments of total bone headedness. There are hundreds of interactions and things that I’ve said/done that I’d give valuable anatomy to take back/change. Hi, I couldn�t lace my shoes the other day. I got a call tonight saying that I had miswritten the longhand amount on a check. Smooth move, Ex-lax. Hell, I sort of jacked up my wrist last night doing this weird thing that someone was talking about at the coffee shop when I was there for lunch. Something about grasping the sides, making a fist, holding it, and then popping it down to relieve pressure or something. Did it, now my hand feels all weird. By all means, take medical advice from some random village person you overhear in a coffee shop. Because they give out doctorates like toilet paper. For sure.

There are just days when my head just hurts with the stupidity of the human race, the almost calculated, blissful ignorance that floats around. Is everyone else just blind to it? Have they just given up? Maybe that’s why the Cylons want to destroy humanity (perhaps my only major gripe with Galactica is the lack of motivation for the Cylons return, although I guess we’re just supposed to accept that if we make intelligent robots, they are just going to get pissed off one day and start offing us.)

An optimist (I swear!), I remain…

I watched the first part of the new “Battlestar Gallactica” miniseries tonight, and I was much impressed. Oddly, I was the only person at work that was excited for it. Go figure. The special effects were special, and there was more than enough sex and violence to make a desperate grab at the young men�s market. “Hey, let’s make a really hot chick robot! Yay!”

Aside from that superficiality, it was pretty interesting. The Galactica’s bridge looked like an actual bridge of a starship (as opposed to the Star Trek model, which will always have a place in my hart, but is simply unfeasible), and fighters seemed to move and behave like actual little space-fighters would. And of course, if the enemy are smart robots that rebelled against humanity (why does this always happen to us? When will we learn to treat our robot servants better?), then they wouldn’t really have fighters, just robots that aren’t humanoid, just ships. And they all have that cool Knight Rider red light swishing back and forth. It worth checking out if you are into things like that. I’m sure Sci-Fi will be rerunning it a bajillion times.

In other news, I’m a big whore, so here is my Amazon wish list so you can buy me fancy things for Christmas. Because you love me, and I entertain you. And yes, I’m leaving this link open the rest of this post so people just glancing through go “Hey, what’s that link?” and then they click on it and they go, “Oh hey, let me buy this guy presents!” It’ll be really easy because I’m tired, and I need to go to bed, so this will be over real soon.

Over real soon, I remain…

U.S. Uncovers Weapons of Mass Destruction, Not in Iraq But in Texas & the National Media Ignores The Story

If this is true…wow. If it’s not, well…fuck you guys.

I went and saw “Mystic River” last night, and it was quite good. Definitely the kind of movie you need a pint and a smoke afterwards. I had a little bit of trouble with the ending, as there were a couple of points where I was sure that the movie was going to end…and then it kept going. Interestingly enough, Clint Eastwood not only directed the film, but wrote the music. It was an interesting little score that popped in every now and again. I wonder if the fact that I noticed it was there so much speaks positively or negatively about it.

At the bar afterward (for the aforementioned pint and smoke), the bartended asked how I could read in such a noisy bar. I just shrugged. Granted, sometimes it looks like I’m reading but I’m listening to the people around me, but still. It can be done. I’ve been to the mountain-top.

I also did some editing on “Shadow of the Past” the other day, which was good. I need to get back in the groove, and I’m always so depressed with the bad crap that’s there in the first draft that I dread going in and just slashing and burning and re-writing. But it needs to be done, and I know that (or hope that, rather) as I go along I’ll need to do less and less of that.

Have you ever had one of those moments where you just question your own basic intelligence? A couple of days ago I was replacing a broken shoelace in my boots and it took me about 20 minutes to figure out how to do it. Stuff like that makes you wonder how you ever made it out of diapers. I’m going to blame it on all the sleep I haven’t been getting lately. Damn insomnia.

Watched a really good basketball game last night, Timberwolves at the Kings. While I’ll always be a Nets fan (unless they move the franchise to Long Island or something, and then I’m out, I’ll be a Knicks fan), I enjoy the Kings, and they are perhaps my favorite team in the West. It was really high-energy, good movement, and it even went into overtime (as no two teams had ever gone into overtime in 4 consecutive meetings). I also saw a Lakers/Mavricks game on Wednesday that was just awful. No one was on their game that night. That game was my first look at “the New Lakers” with their four future Hall of Famers. Please, please send Kobe to jail (although he and another guy got tangled up during the game, fell to the ground, and Kobe didn’t even try to rape him. It’s good that he’s growing as a person.).

I haven’t had many search strings in Google or other search engines bring up the blog since going over to the new software and address, but the other day someone found here searching with the phrase “The Hilton Sisters Are Whores.” That makes me smile.

Smiling, I remain…